How-To...

This is for all the readers who hoard books with hot guys on the covers, who love the sappy (if a little cliche) dialogue, the dirty-little-secret books under the bed.

The Romance-Readers.

After all, we all love the Happily Ever After ending. The girl gets the guy, and life moves on as it should- < no girl left behind! > And the readers enjoy the post-reading glow while wishing something like that could happen in real life. To them. Is it to much to ask?

I asked the crucial question:

So how do they do it?

How To: Get the Guy

(According to romance novels)

Here's the thing, we all know that the romance books we read are fiction. It's not real_ & the paranormal-fantasy-sci/fi genres get that twice over_ We are able to get lost in a different reality where being quirky gets you noticed, the guys are tall, dark, and brooding, the sex is always fantastic, and above all, there is always a Happily Ever After.
Sure, we know it's fake, but we LOVE it. We can't get enough, perhaps *because* it doesn't parallel reality.
Yet, every once in a while I find myself thinking; 'what makes *her* so special?' : 'what is *she* doing right that I'm apparently not?' :and lastly: 'where can I find a guy. like. him?'

Of course, these thoughts aren't fair. Reality doesn't work like a romance novel, and if it did no one would want to read it! But it got me thinking... how did it happen in the very beginning?
How did the hero notice the heroine?
What was the situation that shoved the arrogant hero and the stubborn heroine together until they formed that ever-lasting love bond?

Well... our first heroine we look to for inspiration is the infamous Blair Mallory, from Linda Howard's To Die For.

Blair Mallory: 30 year old divorcee, former cheerleader & current owner of 'Great Bods' gym.
Blair's rule: walk out & crawl back- if a man does the first, then he has to do the second to get back in good graces.

Have you ever gone on three dates with a guy who made all your hormones stand up and take notice? For Blair that was the one and only Lieutenant Wyatt Bloodsworth, before he up & ran, never to be heard from again.

How she got the guy:

1. Find some HOTT guy and go on three dates with him.
2. Don't go "all the way" on the first/second date because it's 'tacky'
3. Pod-people (not really- he's just being a jerk) will make your guy act aloof and then never call you after the third date.

< now the waiting part! >

4. Go to the gym (or OWN a gym in this case)
5. Have a crazy gym patron start copying you: the clothes you wear, the color of your hair. (Because you are FANTASTIC)
6. When she gets murdered in your gym parking lot at night (in a car that looks exactly like yours), the guy in question will panic, thinking the victim is you, and rush to your side.

Don't worry, he has realized that he never got over you and uses your safety as a way to make sure he gets the time he needs to win you over.

7. Throw in amazing (make-up) sex and an obsessed stalker hell-bent on killing you to ensure he sticks around for longer than a week you give him the chance to prove himself.
8. Use your smart-ass wit to challenge him into bringing his A-game, so to speak
9. When you solve the murder mystery, you will have a ring on your finger and a love strong enough to weather all the wildfires in life!

< My take from this: I need to start going to the gym! >

**For those of you who haven't read To Die For  ... I strongly suggest you do! It was a fun, dramatic, (slightly) relatable 5✩ read!